As a jerk, it is not uncommon to be treated by women. Treats ranges from restaurants, movie passes, cellphone load, cellphone itself and even 'room fees.' For most men, this is somehow outside the box and beyond the imagination of some. As a result, there are some instances that a girl is about to hand the payment but the man is so not used to it that he refuses the girl's treat.
What are the disadvantages of refusing a woman's treat? Here are some.
1. Frustration - let us analyze this by putting yourself in to their shoes.. What would you feel if you bought a gift or volunteer a treat to someone and you feel so excited about it because you know he/she will like it but the moment you give it, he/she refused it. How does it feel?
2. Repellance - using the perspective of equivalent exchange, wherein it says that favor can be gained by giving favor and can be exhausted by taking favors. If you are the girl, what would you think if the man refuses the favor that you give to him like paying in the restaurant or in the movie? Maybe he want 'something else' in return? And what is that something else?
3. Sexism - believe it or not, refusal is an act of sexism. Though not noticeable in the surface, it implies that you don't treat women as equal as men. Why the heck you will accept a man friend's treat and not your girl friend's treat? Does she earn so little money or nothing at all that a small bill in the restaurant is a very very big deal for her? believe it or not, you are a sexist by refusing a treat or gift!
4. And the most important of them all, YOU LOSE THE OPPORTUNITY OF SAVING MONEY. No further explanation.
I believe that a relationship would only work if there is mutual amount of effort or value that is given by both parties. In other words, the process of equal give and take is necessary. Though all of you will agree to this thinking, the side step is this: VALUE OR EFFORT IS NOT LIMITED TO MATERIAL THINGS OR EVEN TO THE AMOUNT OF CARE THAT YOU SHOW. Values came even to the things that you least expect to consider as value.
As a jerk, you know that these values are. Most of the time the values that you give to a woman are beyond money and things. Anything tha t give her positive (even negative) emotion is value that you give to her, whether it is the emotional roller coaster that you gave to her up to your shared unique experiences that you introduce to her. It is value and it is a kind of value that is beyond any amount of money or things in this world.
Now, next time a girl treats you, I want you to be proud. Say this to yourself, "This is her way of paying me back!"
As always, keep it light men!
-Twiggy
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