Do you know what is the easiest, quickest and the most reliable route in to the friend zone?
Simple, become Mr. Fix it.
It is funny how many guys still use the ‘all knowing mentor’ approach to attract women. Though I don’t deny that it work sometimes. I cannot also deny that it fails more time than it succeeds. If you understand the Ladder Theory of Relationships, this thinking will make much sense to you. According to the Ladder Theory, women easily and instinctively categorize men into two categories, the one with a lover potential and the one with a friendship potential. Sad to say but we are objectify this way but whatever, it is what is it is. Back to the topic, when we look at this way, you will realize that the moment a man try to imply that he is an ‘all knowing Mr. Fix It,’ he is already walking his way to the friend zone. Being a mistake fixer and track redeemer is a character that suits a friend, a very good friend.
The most important foundation of being a lover is not the power to solve all the problems in the world. What makes you a very good lover is the fun that you give to your partner, the adventure that you offer and the good feelings you radiate. If ever you are good in advising and fixing things, it is just a bonus, an unnecessary bonus.
What you must do then if a girl is asking for your advice or breathing out her miseries in life in to you. Will you turn her down? It depends. We can have two answers depending on the situation. First, if you are in a very stimulating environment or event like a club or a gathering, you can say this the moment something negative comes out of her mouth. “What the heck are you saying, we are in this place and we are supposed to have fun! Have some fun!” This makes you an agent of fun. Believe it or not, you are helping her by reinforcing to her head that she must have some fun.
On the other hand, if you believe that she is really down and really need some shoulders to cry on, be there. There is nothing bad in being with a girl when she has a problem. You are not a go getter that is only there when she feels good and up. However, there is magic bullet in doing this. This magic bullet will make or break your game. Whenever she is breathing out her problem to you, you don’t talk, you don’t offer solutions and you don’t offer advices. Just be there. Focus your attention to her and LISTEN. Why? Because when women want to breathe out their problem, they are rarely looking for a solution. Almost 90% of the time they are just looking for someone that will listen to them and not someone who will fix them. They are unlike men that when we burst what is inside us, we are really looking for a solution to it. Women just want to be listened to.
To be a jerk that attracts women, you must understand the concept that we had mentioned above. This will make or break your relationships to women. Stop being the all knowing guy that has the capability to fix everything by lifting a finger or uttering a magic word. Rather, associate yourself with these two things: FUN AND GOOD LISTENING.
-Twiggy
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