Mar 23, 2010

WHY ACTING AS A CHALLENGE OFTEN FAILS?

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In this post, I want to tackle one of the most common pitfall any student of this endeavor can fall to. I, myself is one of the best example of this case and it ruined my game for a year. Too bad, no one is there to correct my misunderstandings on this golden rule.

 

This industry of male self-development often teaches acting as a challenge to be a key 'switch' that can attract the opposite sex. Both experts and newbies can acknowledge this golden rule in one way or another. Sometime in their career and development, someone told them, either through person or through books or other materials that they need to play hard to get. In fact, my previous post tackled the importance of this particular topic. No one in this industry and endeavor can discount the significance and importance of acting this particular characteristic.

 

However for some students (or even for most) it seems that this particular gambit or character is not working. They often complain and claim that whenever they use and portray it, it backfires to them. When they act as a challenge, it seems the girl is not pulled towards them, the girls are even repelled to them. What the hell is wrong? Is acting as a challenge already became obsolete? Is it still advisable to teach and use it?

 

In answering this question, I want to mention first some of the most common specific actions and scenarios that our newbies complain. I believe this will be helpful in our analysis.

 

  • The man does not send a text message at all. (to show her that he is busy)
  • If the woman sends a text message, the man refuse to reply. (again, to show her that he is busy)
  • When he stumble upon the woman he is gaming somewhere, he is not bothered to say hi or even to smile (to show her that he is not attracted on her or worst he does not know her)
  • The man does not initiate conversation to the woman. (to show that he is not interested)
  • When he talks to her, he consciously 'forget' her name (to show that she is not important to him)
  • When the woman invites him for a lunch or something, he immediately turn down the offer (again, to show her that he is busy for other things or other woman)

 

What do you notice in the above examples? Are you still wondering why this 'acting as a challenge' backfires to its user? Is it really acting as a challenge?

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There is a simple answer why it does not work or at worst backfires. Because it is not acting as a challenge. IT IS ACTING ALOOF!

 

We must remember that there is clear thick red line that separates acting as a challenge and acting aloof. Acting aloof is totally taking for granted of the woman. Acting as a challenge is having the patience to qualify the woman. Acting aloof is being passive. Acting as a challenge is being active. Acting aloof is being a dick. Acting as a challenge is being a man.

 

It is not bad and prohibited to send your woman a text message. It is not bad to reply on her message (most especially when it is an emergency). It is not bad to initiate conversation with your woman. It is not also bad to show that you remember her name. It is not also bad to accept her invitation for a meal or to invite her for one.

 

We must all see that the best relationship is the most mutual relationship. It is very immature for anyone to aspire for a relationship that is entirely one way; something like 90-10 or 80-20 kind of relationship. Though I believe that those kind or degree of relationship is possible and really happens in the real world, it is not the best kind of relationship. It is not even a long lasting relationship. As a student of this endeavor, we must all stop objectifying women, treating them as a mere game or mere objects for experiments. We must grow up. The best ladies men are the men who respect, understand and treat women fairly.

 

-Twiggy
About The Author
The Cool Jerks Team is a group of men helping other men to understand women.
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