Feb 24, 2010

ARE YOU TOO SMART TO DATE?

 

Logic kills attraction.

Logic kills attraction.

Logic kills attraction.

Are you too smart to date

I put that statement up front and three times so everyone can see my conviction to the topic. If there is a single thing that can easily murder your feelings or your special someone’s feeling, it is the use of too much logic and reason in analyzing your relationships. The feeling of love is one of the greatest mysteries in the world. Since the beginning, logic and reason tried but failed to completely explain its wonders. No matter how many definition humanity will invent to explain or define love, no one can fully capture its essence.

 

You wonder why only few smart people can easily close the deal to the opposite sex? You wonder why the not so smart cheerleader is being chased by half of the graduating class? You wonder why your Science Quiz Bee champion is single since birth? Why does it seem that not so smart people are getting all the fun in dating while the more ‘intellectual’ people are just watching all the fun while they get none?

 

Below are the reasons for it.

•Too much Analysis of What is Happening

If ever our smarty pants got a girlfriend, the moment he noticed that his partner is replying to his text messages 20 minutes later than the usual, his brain will start to work as soon as possible. Why isn’t she replying? Is she with Football Joe? Where are they? Why didn’t she tell me that they will go out? Afterwards, he will confront her girl with some yelling and crying about the incident (imaginary) while her girlfriend who just emptied her cell phone battery is clueless about his boyfriend’s freak out moment. This will continue time and time again and the girl will leave him because of the lack of trust from the guy.

 

There is a study that says that 90% of what we are thinking that are bad does not really happen at all. Our mind is a reflex organ that will continue to supply us with its different assessments of the situation. We cannot stop it. However as the master of our mind, we have the control to redirect the work of our mind to more constructive ideas. We have the ability to move away from destructive thinking like always wondering if your partner is cheating on you. Why? This is because our mind is our tool. Don’t let your mind tool you.

 

Always Thinking Ahead

You want the best tip in achieving happiness? It is this, living by the moment. It is the turning off of your brain once in a while to think of the past or even future. For smart people, most of the time, this is a load of work. Their minds are programmed to ping everything and compare it to the past or to the future.

 

Think of a mountain climber that when he reaches a summit of a mountain will say, “Ah, I’ve been to a better summit. This is not comparable to that,” or “Ah! My colleague said that Mountain X is more beautiful, I think I will enjoy more when I go there.” See, happiness cannot be experienced if you cannot cherish the moment. You cannot experience happiness if you keep looking forward or backward. What is worse than a partner who keeps whining for whatever he or she has?

 

Too much Observation, Too Little Participation

Unfortunately, for some of the smart people, the world is a big experimental lab. There is nothing wrong there. In fact, I encourage people to get wild and explore the world. However, in their experiments, they are not the test subjects, not even the variables. What they do is they choose their guinea pig through their friends or anyone around them. When they want to know about dating, they observe and study people instead of having the guts to have the first hand experience. If you will take a look at their notebook you will see there, “Mirror your partner movements –notes from the cheerleader and the quarterback.”

 

I call these people, “too smart to date.”

 

We must all know that the best way to learn something is not to read books and thesis about it. Books and readings will help but the best thing is to go out there to engage it, to experience it firsthand. Only then you can perfect your craft and only then you can have a real happiness from your relationships.

Are you too smart to date 2

Conclusion

Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against smart people. In fact, I am a philosophy graduate and I enjoy an intellectual and mind stimulating conversation as much as them. However, I learned that the human mind is a tool. Your mind is not you. You are not your mind. You're mind is a collection of your experiences, orientation, repressed desire, existing wants etc. In the end you are still the chooser of what you want and what you have to do.

 

As a tool the mind has its uses and limitations. It can be useful in answering the entrance exam in your future college and also will be handy when you are planning for your life in the next 10 years but in vibing or attracting the other person, the human mind has a very little use. In achieving happiness in relationships, try to calm down, try to feel the beauty of every moment you are with your partner and I am sure both of you will hold on for the company of each other.

 

-Twiggy

 

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About The Author
The Cool Jerks Team is a group of men helping other men to understand women.
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9 comments:

The Twitterer on March 3, 2010 at 6:42 AM said...

ouch!!!

or make that "ouch-ED"!!!

i'm one of those whom you can consider as "smart people" on this post. too logical when dealing with the opposite sex. but no regrets! i was so lucky to marry a wonderful guy who made me realize that it's not always about logic, it's how a person makes you feel. with him, i'm so lucky that he passed both the logic and feeling tests with flying colors. wink~

great post!

Jen on March 4, 2010 at 4:22 AM said...

I wish I'd been smarter when dating. I dated a lot of jerks. I also spent way too much time agonizing over why they were doing something rather than just walking away. Live and learn.

Cool Jerk on March 4, 2010 at 6:18 AM said...

@twit

well said! its good to hear that you can acknowledge your 'weakness'. Most people cannot do that

@jen

IMO its not your fault if you are attracted to those men. As David deAngelo would say, 'Attraction is not a choice.'

Keep reading!

ludwig38501 on April 6, 2010 at 5:10 AM said...

as far as i am concerned - using logic is a good thing because most of the women turn me off anyways for being lying, cheating, using bitches that they are.

richard ludwig on April 6, 2010 at 5:50 AM said...

jen - i feel absolutely NO sympathy for you from your bad experiences from dating a jerk. you got exactly what you deserved if you got mistreated. next time think with your brain and not your shaved pussy and go with a nice guy.

richard ludwig on April 6, 2010 at 5:54 AM said...

and as for mike deangelo - he is full of manure anyways. just do cut the shit, get right down to brass tacks and the point, be yourself and brutally honest and NO playing mind games OR beating around the bush OR saying one thing when your brain is actually thinking another. just flat out say EXACTLY what your brain is thinking and that will help ELIMINATE misunderstandings. also - FUCK the TMI because it does NOT exist and there is no such thing as TMI - just say it.

richard ludwig on April 6, 2010 at 6:43 PM said...

attraction may NOT be a choice - BUT using the logical part of your brain IS. IF womem would use the logical part of their brains MORE - then they would use the relationship equal of the ms-basic if...then statement

IF guy = asshole THEN stay away for own safety
IF guy = nice+sweet THEN go with him even tho he may be boring, but he will treat me well.

Cool Jerk on April 7, 2010 at 6:36 AM said...

thanks ludwig for your insights!

everyone is encouraged to talk and share their beliefs.

Thesis Writing on August 2, 2011 at 2:44 PM said...

well i rarely leaves comment on any site but your blog is really so amazing that i can't stop myself from making comment on it...

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