(Continuation of the article Analyzing Value)
AGE RELATIONSHIPS: DATING AND MARRYING YOUNGER WOMEN:
Are you afraid of dating and marrying younger women? Do you think they can’t really love you back? Is it only money that interest them? These could be the questions that are running inside the head of our older readers.
Is real love possible in a May-December affair?
Most people would believe that the only reason a younger woman will date an older man is for the sake of money and security. This is the common societal belief. For what other reasons aside from money will make a younger and beautiful woman prefer an old man if she can choose from a vast number of her suitors who are younger and stronger? This makes us believe that a May-December affair like this will never lead to a happy ending due to a crack in the foundation of relationship.
I don’t deny the fact that some women really date or marry old men just for the sake of money and security. However I believe that this is not the case in the general reality. We have also seen the extreme, some women date old men despite the man not being a rich guy.
Attraction to the opposite sex is brought more than money, looks or age and this is what we will be settled to solve in this article.
VALUE: THE DRIVING FORCE
In analyzing this, I believe we must take in to consideration what I always refer as ‘value.’ As I always say, value attracts people and relationships. For each social interaction, deal or negotiation, value is always taken in to consideration, whether consciously or not consciously. Value differs from person to person. Value is a product of what I refer as a combination of genes and orientations. People coming from different background often react differently in different values though in some cases, there are similarities.
Take for example two men, rich and poor and a two value system which is wealth and family. The first man is wealthy yet does not have a family while the other one is poor yet belongs to a closed tie family. The wealthy man I believe will be more attracted in having a family while the poor will be more attracted in possessing wealth. This is because of the dynamics of value. We want what we don’t have.
In other respect, there are also situation wherein there is an acknowledged universal value. For example, between the two men, I don’t think either one of them will reject a very beautiful and gorgeous girlfriend in their lives.
Why did I discuss that? This is because the foundational understanding of what value is will be very important in our attempt to answer the question of real love between an older man and a younger woman. The question now is this, “What is the value for a woman?”
After establishing this concept, the next logical thing to do is to study what are the values that are considered by a woman when she enters a relationship. In my experience, women enter a relationship out of two things, security (financial and physical) and good emotions. Security is easy; most people strive to achieve a financial and life security today. The trickier part is the value of good emotion; the concept is not as mainstream as the possession of wealth in attracting a partner.
WHAT WOMEN LIKE? EMOTIONS.
I believe that women want to feel a wide array of emotions, happiness, sadness, excitement, jealousness. Name it. The value of good emotions favors a man who can bring her all these emotions, no matter whether he is young or old. Though I don’t want to use the term ‘love’ here, let me ask you this question, Isn’t the person you love is the person who makes you happy, excited or even sad and jealous?
If an old man can provide this value of emotions to a woman, I can’t see why a woman will not fall for that old man. As we said, people are pulled towards value and these emotions are one of the most important values for a woman. If an old man can bring her those feelings what would stop him in taking the girl. In addition, old men are more adept in providing these feelings due to experience and self awareness.
Women are now allowed to work with equal or almost equal compensation as to the men. We are no longer living in a society of violence wherein there are no laws and codes that protect women and children. In this respect men do not monopolize the value for the survival of women and survival of children anymore. This makes this particular value to lose its edge in terms of attracting the opposite sex at least with women who are well off and/or living in the developed nations.
It is hard to swallow but most of the time all we have to provide are good emotions. Money, looks, body and age, they are all secondary. They are just bonuses. It’s like passing a term paper. Good emotions are the content of your term paper which amounts up to 80 percent of your grade. Money, looks, body and age is the design or the presentation of your work which can amount up to 20 percent. You can pass the course just for having a good content since it amounts to 80 percent of the grading system. What can we learn here? Good emotions are fundamental in making the woman to fall in love to you. Sometimes it is everything.
CONCLUSION
I am expecting some violent reactions from you guys from the truth that I said here. Many will say, “But Paul, I see that’s not the way around, I see it in my friend! That is not the case, I saw it in myself, that doesn’t apply.” All I can answer is this; the world is a big place. You can give dozens or even thousands of counter examples. The world is big enough to find instances of weirdness. What I am offering here is the general system in to which most of us play upon.
So for older men out there who wants to date or marry younger woman, I hope I had enlightened you not to be afraid of loving someone who was born two or three decades after you have learned to read. Never mind age relationships problem as most people would say. Just take this in mind what my aged ladies’ man professor always says to our class way back in college.
“Age is a question of mind and matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter!”
-Twiggy
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